I was talking with a friend about values and behaviours recently and how, while we can hold and truly believe a value, if we don’t back it up with our behaviour, the value becomes hollow.

My friend liked the four agreements of Miguel Ruiz:

1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.

She’s an artist and has these on her studio wall. She tries to bring them into her way of doing things daily.

My husband likes Plato:

1. Be just.
2. Seek wisdom.
3. Be moderate in everything.
4. Be courageous.

Plato was born in 428 BC and according to his teachings he also  believed in matching behaviour to beliefs. I think my husband chose a tough one in being moderate in everything; especially when you look at his collection of old wines.

I’ve been going to the same butcher for three decades and yes, he does a very nice gluten free beef sausage with honey and lemongrass. Over the years he has listened to his customers, told them how nice they look and added a sprinkle of philosophy along away.

Here are his three philosophies for life:

• Be your own best friend.
• Be kind, because if there are two people are being kind, then soon two more will be kind and pretty soon a hundred will be being kind to each other.
• Stay out of others people’s business.

The saying goes, ‘If you don’t stand for something, you’ll stand for anything.’ And that may be true.

But if you are looking for a great cut of meat, especially rump steak, a good dose of common sense and a little esoteric advice, he’s your man. Maybe in 1,590 years someone will be quoting my butcher, Steve Courtney’s wise words.

I took a call recently and the woman on the other end of the line began; ‘I know it may seem a bit late in the day but thirty years ago when I was working in the Building Society, I sat in one of your training programs and I was thinking today that I never thanked you for changing the way I thought, all those years ago.’

Rhonda continued. ‘You said that regardless of what has happened to me in the past you have a future now. This really struck a chord and stayed with me through the thick and thin of my life.’

Planet Earth is an amazing place. I needed to hear these words that morning. Like everyone, I need to be reminded to keep going, keep writing, keep telling my stories; singing my songline.

When people tell me, ‘Oh you must get loads of great feedback about your books, workshops or ideas,’ I smile because that’s not necessarily the case. Australians aren’t known for their effusiveness; unlike our American cousins, Australians are usually quite reticent about coming forward to say thank you or that was good. It’s how we’re built, part of our tall poppy syndrome. So when someone makes the time to track me down, pick up the phone and call me, I listen. And I am very grateful.

As Rhonda said goodbye she thanked me again for making a difference in her life and I though, all of us make a difference in other people’s lives. The ripples made by a small pebble of kindness, a word of encouragement, a hand when someone is busy, or a smile can have a big effect on the receiver. We are very powerful people.

Each of us has the chance every day to pay it forward; that small kindness can have a big impact. Never underestimate your ability to help another human being.

And if you are lucky enough to get some positive feedback along the way, allow it to sink in; receive it graciously as you would a gift.

I had a conversation I wasn’t expecting with a bloke I know recently. He asked me, ‘What do you think women around the world were marching for on January 21^st?^’

 ^‘We’re marching for equality.’

‘Equality? What do you mean?’

‘The same freedom that men take for granted. To be paid the same as men for the same job, to be treated with dignity and reverence; to be able to attract the same respect in every environment throughout the world. That’s what we are walking for.’

‘Women already have freedoms. Say if a man goes too far, in some circumstances the woman has to take some responsibility…. if she dresses provocatively for instance.’

I look at him, big eyed; speechless.

He continued, ‘women shouldn’t be badly behaved, that just attracts men’s attention. What about a woman who is drunk, lying on the sidewalk with her legs wide apart? That woman is at fault for attracting the wrong kind of attention.’

I was a teenager in the ‘60s and like millions of women at that time and since, have experienced inappropriate attention, touching, lewd remarks, groping and much more. I didn’t encourage or ask for it.

But it’s still goes on…big time.

‘NO, NO NO, this woman who has had too much to drink, out of her depth, in trouble, is in need of your help and the humane thing to do is to help her and make sure she is safe.’ Tears now fill my eyes.

The belief that women should not have the same freedoms is wrong. That they shouldn’t wear provocative clothes, should behave, should tone down, not attract attention. That women shouldn’t walk alone at night; is wrong.

It’s time for men to stand up and teach each other that it’s not ever right to take advantage of anyone, male or female when they need help. The humane approach is to help each other; man or woman, fragile or strong, black or white (and all the colours in between), gay or straight, old or young, Muslim or Christian, successful or struggling, sick or well, educated or not, born here or not.

We are all brothers and sisters.

Photo courtesy of equal rights for all.

I walked past the coffee shop and saw her looking intently into the face of a pretty young girl as she held her hand. The girl was listening carefully to her every word.

Ah ha, a Fortuneteller concentrating on her craft. Then I thought: if she’s available when I walk back from the Post Office, I’ll go in.

It was a perfect Brisbane day, the sun shining, the sky aqua blue, a balmy breeze from the east. What harm could there be?

‘Please sit down,’ she smiled. She looked normal, fiftyish, nicely dressed, no loopy earrings. Then, ‘Great, now give me your hand.’ And I did.

She told me there is a new baby on the way, or possibly a new idea for a project. That if it is a project it will be very successful. She cautioned me to think immaculately, to speak of my work enthusiastically and with confidence. She counseled me to do the very best I can in my work, then hand the rest over to the Universe.

‘Heaps of help is at hand.’ She said with a steely gaze.

I began to warm to my new friend. She continued and told me that this is the year of my emotional maturity. Well that’s been coming a while!

She then went on to remind me that as I am accountable for my responses, to be vigilant in taking control of my emotional reactions: to be strong, calm and positive. She said that when I do slide backwards, to remind myself: No, that’s not how I react now, and choose another way.

Then she told me the really good news; big money is on the way!

I paid her the $20 and left with a big goofy smile on my dial. And something more: renewed hope. Is it real? Is it true? Do I believe that someone can tell the future from looking at the palm of my hand? Maybe. But I guess I can make all of her predictions come true for myself.

Doesn’t it beat the heck out of the gloom and doom pedaled 24/7 through every medium we own? I think so, and I left the coffee shop with something that can be bought for 20 bucks. Hope in my heart and in my smile and I found myself whistling as I walked to my car.